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Orthghazi: A 2320 Colfax Timeline

2320 Colfax on February 13th, 2015.

You may have heard of the house controversy that’s rocking Lowry Hill East. But unless you’re a house superfan, you probably have no idea what it’s about. With the demolition of 2320 Colfax nearly upon us, here’s a handy timeline to get you up to speed on Orthghazi.

1893: T.P. Healy builds 2320 Colfax, also known as Orth House. Anders Christensen, in arguing for the house’s historical significance, notes that 1893 is the same year as a financial crisis and the Chicago World’s Fair (to find other things that happened in 1893, such as Nabisco’s cream of wheat, visit HistoryOrb.com).

1895: First house fire. Repairs performed by T.P. Healy.

Post-WWII: 2320 Colfax is converted from single-family into a boarding house, a condition which will annoy neighborhood homeowners for over half a century (until 2014, when “Save the low-income boarders” becomes a disingenuous rallying cry).

Nov. 1981: Trilby Busch and Anders Christensen “go on record” in Twin Cities Magazine “contending that 2320 Colfax is an important part of Healy’s architectural legacy.”

Healy descendants pose in historically accurate late-70s costumes.

1991: A second fire inflicts significant damage on 2320 Colfax. T.P. Healy, demolished by heart failure in 1906, was unavailable for repairs; he would have been a historical 147 years old.

2007: The owner of 2320 Colfax, Mike Crow, puts his house on the market.

2008: Future Minneapolis City Planner John Smoley earns an advanced college degree, a credential he will later wield to destroy history.

2011: Third house fire at 2320 Colfax.

Aug. 2012: Mike Crow agrees to sell 2320 Colfax to a developer.

Oct. & Nov. 2012: The developer makes two presentations before the neighborhood regarding an apartment proposal at the site of 2320 Colfax. The developer decides to build within the zoning code, and not seek any variances. This fact, combined with the City’s determination that 2320 Colfax is not historic, paves the way for demolition.

Mar. 2013: CPED issues a demolition permit for 2320 Colfax. Anders Christensen (a long-time neighbor and friend of Ward 10 Council Member Meg Tuthill) appeals this decision to the City’s Heritage Preservation Commission (HPC).

Apr. 2013: HPC rules in favor of Anders Christensen’s appeal, declaring 2320 Colfax a historic resource.

May 2013: 2320 Colfax’s owner, Mike Crow, appeals HPC’s decision to the City Council.

May 24, 2013: Tuthill and her Council colleagues vote 13-0 to uphold the HPC decision (please note: this was an innocent time before the notion of aldermanic privilege).

May 27, 2013: Anders Christensen advocates shutting down the boarding house at 2320 Colfax and “reusing it for an urban hotel or bed and breakfast.”

Nov. 5, 2013: Despite an endorsement from HGTV’s Nicole Curtis, incumbent Council Member Meg Tuthill loses in a landslide to Lisa Bender. Tuthill is the founding mother of LHENA, with a history in the neighborhood that goes back to the early 1970s. Neighborhood long-timers are deeply crushed.

Jan. 6, 2014: The new City Council is sworn in. There are seven new members, out of 13 seats (check my math, Meg). News stories are written about the Council’s fresh faces. Long-time residents from across the city are deeply crushed.

Feb. 3, 2014: Less than a month after Bender’s swearing in, the Facebook action heats up. Minneapolis Residents for Responsible Development Coalition (MRRDC) is founded by an anonymous neighborhood association board member. Thus begins a brutal campaign of kitchen sink NIMBYism (anti-gentrification; worry about future ghettos; too much parking; not enough parking; materials are too cheap; rents are too high). Facebook dissent is weeded out with a merciless use of the ban function.

April 2014

Mar. 14, 2014: Anders Christensen reveals that City Planner John Smoley’s fancy college degree is actually just a Ph.D. in Missile Silos. An embarrassed (probably) John Smoley takes his revenge by engaging in a campaign of lies (allegedly) to destroy 2320 Colfax, all from his base of operations in a fourth-ring suburb.

Mar. 23, 2014: A group with an even longer acronym, MRRSVLD, is founded as a satirical counterpoint to MRRDC. It takes months for most people to sort out who’s who.

Apr. 2014: More than a week of candle-light vigils for the house at 2320 Colfax are capped by a guest appearance from home improvement icon Nicole Curtis. This event also serves as a posthumous campaign rally: recently defeated former Council Member Meg Tuthill is caught on video tutoring Curtis on the finer points of Minneapolis politics.

Nicole Curtis’s dog’s eyeballs escape the vigil with only minor burns.

Apr. 22, 2014: MRRDC coins the phrase Bendrification. Meanwhile, chemists at MRRSVLD invent the muscle cream Bender-Gay (For when your muscles are tired from destroying the neighborhood™).

Apr. 25, 2014: The Council follows recommendation by City staff and votes 11-2 to approve the homeowner’s application to demolish a historic resource. HGTV’s Nicole Curtis films an episode of her television program during the vote. Critics wonder if she’s secretly profiting from the controversy.

Late Apr. 2014: The Healy Project files suit to stop demolition. The judge rules against them. It becomes clear why Anders was so agitated over Smoley’s education.

May 1, 2014: Once again, Trilby Busch and Anders Christensen cite a 1981 article written by noted experts Trilby Busch and Anders Christensen (who, you may recall, went on record “contending that 2320 Colfax is an important part of Healy’s architectural legacy.”)

May 11, 2014: A 170th birthday party is thrown in honor of T.P. Healy. Healy’s ghost is reported to have blown out the candles.

Aug. 13. 2014: Anders Christensen’s group, The Healy Project, puts forth a plan that would preserve the house at 2320 Colfax, while converting the existing structures into 1 & 2 bedroom apartments. Under this plan, the boarding house would be shut down.

Sep. 30, 2014: Anders Christensen rebukes the City Council’s Z&P Committee for permitting the owner of 2320 Colfax to shut down his boarding house and sell his property. His argument: allowing a property owner to displace “vulnerable adults” is not the “decent thing” to do.

Oct. 3, 2014: The Council approves developer Michael Lander’s plan for an apartment building at 2320 Colfax. This is despite continued credible assertions from Anders Christensen that developer Michael Lander has been to London, England.

Oct. 18, 2014: 2320 Colfax’s owner hires a contractor to perform asbestos abatement without the proper permit for work on a Saturday. Former Council Member Meg Tuthill and other neighbors are not happy. Pictures are taken of at least one worker’s ID card and posted to Facebook (since deleted). Meg is reported to have said to the workers (and I’m not making this up): “I’m the Council Member!” The workers leave and return another day.

Oct. 19, 2014: Word of the previous day’s dust-up reaches Nicole Curtis, who calls out Lisa Bender (blaming Bender both for a homeowner’s permit oversight, and the disappointing 2013 election results). 700,000 Facebook fans from across the country are suddenly very unhappy with Lisa Bender.


Oct. 27, 2014: A story is published about Nicole Curtis performing house rehab without the proper permits.

Dec. 6, 2014: Nicole Curtis vows to “stockpile” her money for the purpose of defeating Lisa Bender in 2017.

Dec. 16, 2014: Lisa Bender is banned from a Facebook group run by The Healy Project: “North Wedge Historic District.” This is seen by some as a bold move, considering the Council Member is uniquely positioned to help them achieve an actual Wedge historic district.

Dec. 18, 2014: HGTV personality Nicole Curtis boasts of her generosity in funding (at a cost of $102) The Healy Project’s last-ditch attempt at a temporary restraining order to stop the demolition. Once again, the judge rules against them.

Dec. 21, 2014: Trilby and Anders again “go on record,” citing their own article from 1981 as evidence that 2320 Colfax is historic.

Jan. 2015: Lisa Bender experiences increased online harassment, and is frequently locked out of her Facebook account due to unauthorized log-in attempts.

Jan. 21, 2015: The Healy Project publishes part one of a soon-to-be 87-part blog series targeting all the liars: The Truth Will Out: Lies that Brought Down 2320 Colfax Avenue South.

Jan. 28, 2015: The Healy Project publishes an open letter to the City Council, along with an invitation to view pictures and videos of the interior, courtesy of their friend Ezra Gray.

Jan. 30, 2015: The geniuses at MRRSVLD produce a hilarious parody of Ezra’s videos.

Feb. 4, 2015: With neighborhood tension at an all-time high, a local journalist becomes the target of a PDF-attached email campaign.

Feb. 7, 2015: Healy Project videographer Ezra Gray publishes the following post to Facebook. Anders and Trilby go on record, liking the post.

Feb. 9, 2015: Robin Garwood (a Bender supporter and aide to Council Member Cam Gordon) publishes a powerful indictment of The Healy Project and their allies, claiming they are analogous to the Tea Party circa 2009. Among other things, he cites their knee-jerk rejection of nearly everything Bender proposes. Garwood also notes that members of The Healy Project sent emails to the City Council in defense of the above Facebook post, with at least one person using the phrase “Je suis Charlie” (because, if you defend yourself from a weirdly disgusting and completely unfounded accusation of corruption, the terrorists win).

In the comments of his post, Garwood makes the case that, despite the constant references to corruption and lies, The Healy Project doesn’t have their facts straight.

Feb. 10, 2015: In the wake of Garwood’s post denouncing The Healy Project, Nicole Curtis calls him out for a recent work trip to Cuba. Curtis also takes issue with Council Members receiving paychecks.

Curtis claims to have been sent “disturbing” emails written by Council Members Andrew Johnson and Lisa Bender. At Johnson’s request, Curtis promises to release them. At the time of writing, she still hadn’t released the emails.

Lisa Bender nominates the “Lowry Hill East Residential Historic District.” Fans of old houses are not impressed.

UPDATE: 2320 Colfax demolished on February 24, 2015.

Cross-posted to Stubble Magazine.

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2014 Wedgie Awards

The Wedgie Awards were a real thing. We’re bringing them back.

At tonight’s LHENA holiday party we’ll be handing out trophies to some of the neighborhood’s wackiest characters to honor their amazing performances in 2014. We’re revealing the names of Wedgie recipients in advance on the blog, but don’t tell the winners. And you should still come to the holiday party. I don’t want to be the only transient turd in the punch bowl. That can get unbearably awkward.

Best Comedy

The nominees:
  • Lady who asked during a meeting, “who’s the Palestinian guy we don’t like?” This was when she couldn’t remember Basim Sabri’s name.
  • The time LHENA coordinator Tina Erazmus’ daughter sabotaged her mom’s ringtone, then called the phone during the final presentation of Lander’s 2320 Colfax to LHENA. It played for ten seconds at full volume before Tina realized she was the obnoxious hip-hopper in the room.
  • The time the Board Member from MRRDC proposed that LHENA hold a joint fundraiser with Healy Project, formalizing the alliance between our neighborhood’s Axis of Long-Timers (LHENAMRRDCHealyProject.org).

The Wedgie goes to: The time the LHENA Board was considering two candidates for appointment to a single open board seat. After a vigorous 5-minute campaign that included one of the candidates (Pet Supply Guy) explaining he would be unable to attend any board meetings, there was a tie. Following much deliberation, the LHENA board broke the tie in favor of transient hero, political juggernaut, and guy who CAN attend the meetings, Michael Roden.

Outstanding Performance in Shameless House Advocacy

The Wedgie goes to: Anders Christensen for calling out the City’s Z&P Committee as a bunch of heartless bastards for allowing a property owner to sell/shut down his boarding house. This was only a month after Anders brought a proposal to LHENA that would have shut down the same boarding house. 

Most Scatter-Brained Anti-Development Rhetoric

The nominees:
  • Task Force Leader Bill’s contention that certain Greenway buildings are “15 minutes from a ghetto.”
  • Board Member Bill invoking “the big G word” (gentrification) as a reason to oppose development at Franklin & Lyndale.
  • Months later, in his capacity as Landlord Bill (I guess?), he would advocate for the neighborhood to demand only the finest materials be used in new developments; that there is no difference between $5,000 rents and $1,500 rents; and that it’s not really the neighborhood’s responsibility to push for housing affordability anyway.

The Wedgie goes to: It’s a three-way tie between Task Force Leader, Board Member, and Landlord Bill. 

Most Misremembered History

The Wedgie goes to: LHENA Board Member Sue for constantly citing the location of 19th century Lake Blaisdell as a reason not to develop the parking lot at Franklin and Lyndale. For the record, the lake was east of Lyndale.

Runner up: Mean-spirited rumors that some of our neighborhood’s long-timers are old enough to have swum in 19th century Lake Blaisdell.

Best Lesson in Neighborhood Democracy
The Wedgie goes to: The time Board Member Tim said there would be a neighborhood vote on Lander’s 2320 Colfax project. A majority turned out in support (many of whom had better things to do), but the vote never happened. Lesson learned: LHENA only votes on development issues when they have the numbers to oppose.
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The Great “Party Room” Rebellion of 2014

This movie is not about LHENA’s
disastrous relationship with Basim Sabri.

As the year comes to a close, let’s give a second viewing to a story that fell through the cracks.

The Channel 79 production of the September 30, 2014 Z&P Committee hearing only has 90-some views (it was a limited release). Still, it made an impression. Imagine it as a movie where a swarthily corrupt developer (a composite character loosely based on Michael Lander and Basim Sabri; played by Alfred Molina) proposes to construct rental housing at 2320 Colfax with few amenities. After a bunch of underwhelming speeches, it climaxes with William Wells (played by Sally Field) concealing MRRDC inside his burqa, and fleeing to the southern Wedge, where they find luxurious refuge and ample parking (in the party room at Flux). Here’s the script.

Alright, maybe that metaphor doesn’t hold up. But listen, they really did appeal 2320 Colfax, in part, because it would have no party room, no gym, and no staff in the lobby. This from the crowd who’s not shy about shoehorning gentrification-based criticism into their arguments against all new development. I realize many gentrification complaints are made with a wink and a nod, and a healthy dose of the kitchen sink; but it’s still worth taking time to highlight the nonsense.

This was the closing argument on the day history died at 2320.

And then there was Anders Christensen’s delightfully obnoxious performance in the role he was born for.

Some background on Anders for the uninitiated: he’s a former LHENA president (1979), house historian, real estate tycoon, house restorer, master of frivolous lawsuits, gofundme magnate, and Wedge walking tour guide. While he no longer lives in the Wedge, he loves our neighborhood’s old homes harder than ever. Those so-called “experts” who would declare any of our houses to be “not historic” will find themselves derided by Anders as silo-sucking fourth-ring-suburbanites. Perhaps most importantly, he is the spiritual leader of the notorious Facebook group/doomsday cult called The North Wedge Historians.

Anders introduced himself to the committee as an advocate, not for houses, but for “low-income and vulnerable adults.” He then launched into a speech where he calls out the committee members as a bunch of heartless bastards for allowing the owner of the boarding house to sell his property, as this would displace the home’s current residents. I don’t know how it played in the room, but I was deeply moved watching at home on YouTube.

What I found problematic was some inconsistency in the plot. The previous month, Anders and his organization, the Healy Project, presented LHENA with an alternative to the developer’s proposal. This alternative preserved the houses, while eliminating all the rooming-house-style units. The alternative plan contained not a hint of concern for the “vulnerable adults” (though they managed to squeeze in plenty of additional parking). Turns out, Anders was really in love with the houses the whole time! Oops, I forgot to say spoiler alert.

Bottom line: despite the illogical plot twists and over-the-top sanctimony, I think it’s worth a rental, or at least a quick YouTube scroll-through.

Final verdict: 3.5 Healys