Excerpt from My Forthcoming Tell-All E-Book

Year’s end means it’s time to clear out the draft folder on my blogspot. There were many times this year when I felt compelled to write a post, took the time to actually write it, but couldn’t pull the trigger. The following excerpt is from a draft entitled “Orthghazi II: The Screenshotting.” Written around the time of the 2320 Colfax demolition, it’s a tell-all about my experiences before and after writing this post. But I named too many names, and left it to languish. Until now.


Written in March of 2015.

Feb 24, 9:35 AM: The first photo of the demolition of 2320 Colfax is Tweeted. I hustle to the site for pictures and video. Healy Project people are already there.

Madeline from The Healy Project approached me, asked which side I was on. I told her, “The wrong one.”
— Wedge LIVE! (@WedgeLIVE) February 24, 2015

Feb 25, 6:00 PM: Nicole Curtis posts a series of Facebook statements about the demolition. She coins the phrase “Lisa Bender lied, the Orth died.” No one can articulate what Bender is supposed to have lied about. Over the course of three posts in 24 hours, clueless commenters piece together that Council Member Lisa Bender is the very corrupt, suspiciously liberal, Mayor or Congressman responsible for this crime against house-manity.

Feb 26, 1:22 PM: I try desperately to stay out of the Facebook cesspool. This causes domestic strain for @WedgeLIVE, as revealed in this social media conversation with @WedgePAL.

Feb 27, afternoon: I finally read some of Curtis’ posts and the comments underneath. Despite being long-ago desensitized to over-the-top Bender-bashing, it’s remarkably horrifying. I immediately get to screenshotting.
Feb 27, 4:13 PM: I press publish, anticipating the usual small audience for my groundbreaking screenshot journalism. 
Feb 27, 5:06 PM: The post is very quickly the most viewed thing ever on the site. It dawns on me that I live in a neighborhood full of hardcore Rehab Addicts. I flashback to the time an unhappy reader sent me a 12-page PDF of my Tweets lifted off a website called TweetTunnel.com.
Panicked DM sent from @WedgeLIVE.

Feb 27, evening: Curtis uploads a rant to YouTube.

Feb 28, 3:10 PM: While out on assignment, I receive a tip via Twitter DM. It’s from @WedgeLADY.
Feb 28, 3:38 PM: In the comments, [name redacted] is expressing displeasure with Mayor Hodges for sharing my blog post (comment since deleted). The responsible resident tags a Nicole Curtis employee into the conversation. Curtis’ North Minneapolis rehab posse begins speaking with authority about the alleged “bullying” tactics I use against [organization redacted].
News tips/screenshots via DM were all the rage in early 2015.
Mar 1: WCCO and KMSP run stories about a Hodges-Curtis feud.

Mar 3: I get the Smoley treatment at healyproject.org. There is no missile silo deep enough, or fourth-ring suburb far enough, to protect me from the wrath of Trilby.
March 5, afternoon: Local Healy fans are all over my demolition video. I resist the urge to take it down.
Mar 5, 8:41 PM: Nicole Curtis shares my video with her Facebook fans. I won’t learn of this until hours later.
Mar 5, around 9:00 PM: After a day of watching the local Healy crew salivate over my demolition video, I sacrifice some journalistic integrity and make it private. This is done purely to spite those who’ve been calling me a bullying, senior-bashing, single-mom-threatening racist. The joy they got from using my video to complain about airborne debris was too much to bear. As a result, @WedgeLIVE becomes another piece of the Orthghazi conspiracy.
Was the Orth demo faked? I’ll never tell.

Mar 5, 10:58 PM: Nicole Curtis calls me a racist.

I’m also the real carjacker.

Mar 5, 11:31 PM: I remain unaware of Curtis’ re-posting of my video, until one of her rabid fans sends me a hilarious late-night text.

Who knew my mom reads Twitter?

March 6, 7:20 AM: Curtis fan “Kelli” posts a shaky pirated copy of my demo video recorded from a computer screen. In retaliation, I record a much shakier video of her shaky video of my original video.

Mar 6, 11:36 AM: The source of the racism allegation (and of 12 pages of PDF’d Tweets) is telling tales in the Strib comment section. If anyone knows the whereabouts of the allegedly violent Ivy Leaguer, I’d love to hear his side of the story.

43rd & Upton Development Inspires Folk Song

Linden Hills has a folk song! Inspired by true events, with references to the small area plan and envelopes full of cash and “compromising” photographs of a councilwoman. It’s everything you’d expect from Linden Hills. I have done my best to transcribe the lyrics below.

City Hall by Bob Frey

Well friends I got some news to tell
Everybody gather round
And lately there’s been funny things been happenin in our town
Well they’re cutting deals, and greasing wheels
Shutting shades and closing doors
It seems the people’s voice don’t mean too much
down in city hall no more
Nah, the people’s voice don’t mean too much
down in city hall no more

See we signed the big petition
And we showed up every time
At the city council meetings
And waited patiently in line
Yeah to state our opposition
To the latest building plan
But in the end we probably shoulda known
That we never stood a chance.
Yeah in the end we probably shoulda known
That we never stood a chance.

I guess we won a couple victories
You see we blocked that there [???]
And we listened to the council
And made a smart neighborhood plan
But it didn’t amount to nothing
And now that building’s gonna rise
Only thing it will be good for 
Block the sunshine from our eyes
The only thing it will be good for 
Block the sunshine from our eyes

So if you want to build a building 
And make it higher than the code
And the neighborhood’s against you
And you wonder where to go
Well I’m here to tell you, builder man
that them plans don’t have to stall
Just put some money in an envelope
and head down to city hall
You just stick that money in an envelope
and take it down to city hall

City hall, that aint how it’s supposed to be
Nah city hall, but that’s how it feels to me
And in the corridors of city hall,
I guess that’s how it’s always been
Yeah the common people always lose
And the money always wins
Yeah the common people always lose
And the money always wins

Well some see the times are getting tough in this economy
Well that’s true for some, but not for all
You know it ain’t too hard to see
But in this land of opportunity,
There’s always something to be found
Just start following your councilman
And keep your nose close to the ground
Yeah just start following your councilwoman
And keep your nose close to the ground

And maybe you’ll get pictures
Of the compromising kind
Or certain information 
That you weren’t supposed to find
So turn the tables and play the game
All for one and none for all
Make a fortune in an instant
Just head on down to city hall
Just put that there in an envelope
And take it down to city hall

City hall, that ain’t how it’s supposed to be
Nah city hall, but that’s how it feels to me
And in the corridors of power
I guess that’s how it’s always done
Yeah the common people always lose
And the money always wins
Hey hey, the common people always lose
And the money always wins

But yeah we tried our best to do our best
But in the end we took a fall
Now the money talks and they’re selling blocks
On down at city hall
Yeah the money talks and they’re selling blocks
Right on down at city hall

.@imboande the common folk can’t write a protest song without you fact checking it.

— Wedge LIVE! (@WedgeLIVE) December 19, 2015

Blong Yang’s Embarrassing Sham of a Public Hearing

Minneapolis Police cleared out the protesters from street in front of the 4th Precinct this morning. Below is an account of the public hearing that was carefully orchestrated to justify it.

Yesterday, the Minneapolis City Council’s Public Safety Committee took up the seemingly routine procedural matter of amending their meeting agenda. Council Member Palmisano–with a wink and a nod from committee chair Blong Yang who represents the area that includes the 4th Precinct–proposed they allow public testimony regarding the ongoing protests occurring in front of the 4th Precinct over the shooting of an unarmed man named Jamar Clark. This last minute addition to the agenda made it practically impossible to give testimony on the topic unless you were already present for the meeting.

Fortunately for opponents of the 4th Precinct protest, committee chair Blong Yang (and presumably others on the committee) made sure to invite a specially selected group to give testimony painting a uniformly negative picture of the protest (complaints of traffic, parking, crime, smoke, drugs, drinking, etc). The committee’s lone voice of dissent was CM Cam Gordon, who worried “if we take up this topic now, what about people who would have come if they knew they had an opportunity to give public comment and may not actually be here now?”

And surely those folks would have come, because on November 19th a group was turned away by the City Council and prevented from giving testimony on the very same topic. They were denied a chance to speak because it would have meant bending the rules. That’s fair enough and all according to the rules, whether you agree with it or not. But you couldn’t blame Cam Gordon for being “especially surprised” by yesterday’s “last-minute decision to open time up and to be addressed by the Police Federation president and a few, seemingly forewarned or invited residents.”

The man from the Police Federation whom Gordon singles out, is Lt. Bob Kroll. As a union president, Kroll is duty-bound (perhaps understandably so) to push the idea that his fellow officers are innocent of wrongdoing in the shooting death of the unarmed Jamar Clark. But Kroll has been particularly outspoken, using his platform not just to defend cops, but to go after the protests themselves. Speaking of the 4th Precinct protesters on television, he said that “we need to silence that vocal group of activists.” On talk radio he called the 4th Precinct protest a “local version of Benghazi.” That Yang’s committee would elevate the already well-amplified voice of Lt. Kroll, while going to great length to exclude dissenting voices, is disturbing.

Kroll, who is infamous for accusations of racism and brutality, called for Yang’s committee to “pull your mayor back and quit mis-micro-managing the police department and let people with experience on how to remove unlawful protesters in.” Before adjourning, Chair Yang indicated he was ready to forcibly end the protest: “I think we’ve taken a really good tact in terms of asking nicely, asking for voluntary removal. At some point it just has to be a little bit different than that because that tactic has not worked.”

There isn’t a rule against leaving an item off the committee’s published agenda and adding it at the last minute. I’m no parliamentarian, but there’s probably not a rule against stacking the room with your supporters, inviting a controversial police union leader to testify, and using that one-sided feedback to justify heavy-handed tactics against a peaceful protest. While it may not be technically against the rules, it is “embarrassingly undemocratic,” as Cam Gordon put it. Forget democracy, it was just plain embarrassing.

Even worse is this detail from Gordon’s aide Robin Garwood, who recounts how Yang had previously rejected the suggestion of allowing public testimony at their committee:

“I actually asked the committee chair more than a week ago whether it might be fruitful to open up some time on the committee’s agenda for a discussion of the Clark shooting and related protests, and was told in no uncertain terms that that would not happen.”

Council Members Yang, Council President Barb Johnson and their allies are sending the message that protesters stationed in front of the 4th Precinct should not expect to receive a fair and open airing of their grievances in front of the City Council. Bending the rules of the established political process so shamelessly against protesters seems like the wrong way to go about convincing them to give up their civil disobedience.

Students Purposely Excluded from Some Neighborhood Boards

There was an article yesterday in the Minnesota Daily (a student newspaper) with the subhead: “Few students apply to neighborhood board organizations in Minneapolis.” I was surprised to see the Marcy-Holmes Neighborhood Association (MHNA) characterized as one of the two “best at involving students in decision-making.” This can’t be true because, unlike the vast majority of Minneapolis neighborhood organizations, MHNA has written policies into their bylaws that appear designed to exclude students from the process.

Marcy-Holmes is frighteningly young.

Despite their large student population, MHNA has decided to hold elections in June, a time when many students are out of town. This is on purpose. MHNA’s president admitted as much in 2011: “my view is that the Marcy-Holmes annual meeting was moved to the June time frame to minimize student participation, especially in elections.” Students and other reformers have been asking the organization to change the timing of their election for at least the last 10 years with no results.
This invaluable bit of neighborhood history from Christopher Meyer explains it very well:

In June 2004, approximately 90 people packed into a crowded room to partake in the annual election meeting of the Marcy-Holmes Neighborhood Association, the organization designated by the city of Minneapolis to represent the Marcy-Holmes neighborhood. Neighborhood meetings are typically low-key, casual affairs, but this one was monitored as thoroughly as a U.N.-supervised election in a Third World republic. Representatives from the League of Women Voters scrutinized the credentials of all attendees. To be eligible to vote, they would need to be certified members of MHNA (which required the submission of a valid membership registration at least 30 days prior to the meeting) and they would need to present a photo ID as well as proof of residency in the neighborhood. The MHNA board also hired a parliamentarian from the city’s Neighborhood Revitalization Program to ensure that all proceedings were conducted legally. They even hired an armed beat patrolman to maintain security in case matters got out of hand. 

What issue could possibly have been so contentious that the board apparently felt the need to prepare against the possibility of violence? In short, reformers were trying to amend MHNA’s bylaws in order to make the organization more accessible to student residents. The previous fall, a group of students had worked with an MHNA representative to prepare a list of amendments designed to enable greater student participation. The biggest change the reformers wanted was to change the month of the annual meeting — when elections for board officers and directors are held — from June to October. The reason was obvious: Students are less likely to be around during the summer. Despite this fact — or as I suspect, because of it — the association voted to reject the schedule change as well as every other student proposal.

“Length of residency” requirements are another tactic for discouraging student (transient!) participation. Only three Minneapolis neighborhood associations have residency requirements of six months or greater to become eligible to serve in elected leadership; of those, two have massive student populations: Marcy-Holmes and Prospect Park (the third organization is the Whittier Alliance, which is 90% renter). How do most Minneapolis neighborhoods handle the residency issue? The Linden Hills Neighborhood Council is a good example: all residents are members, and all members can be elected to the board of directors.
Membership requirements of the Marcy-Holmes Neighborhood Association.

Linden Hills is typical of vast majority of Minneapolis neighborhood orgs.

I serve on a neighborhood board with a college student who never attended a neighborhood meeting until the one where he was elected. He is supremely qualified and dedicated. He managed to convince a room filled with longtime residents to vote for him. Now he’s getting stuff done like no other board member in the history of board members. If someone impressive and capable wants to be involved, why screen those candidates out of the process? What’s the harm in letting the voters sort it out?

White Terrorism Becomes Cliche

White gunman stalks Muslim woman in Texas last week.

Last Monday night, four men showed up to the Black Lives Matter protest outside the Minneapolis Police Department’s 4th Precinct and shot five unarmed black protesters. This was after a week of similar visits from white menarmed with guns, cameras, and racist commentarystreaming live video to the internet for the entertainment of their fellow racists.

It’s become a cliche after such attacks to ask overly timid headline writers, “What if the white guy with a gun was a brown guy with a gun?” When armed men in masks menace unarmed civilians; when these men post video of themselves delivering hate-filled messages and flashing weapons; when this ends in a mass shooting… This describes an act of terrorism.

Here’s why it matters. We treat terrorism differently than other violent crimes. We go to much greater lengths to protect ourselves from it, and to punish those responsible. We see some greater value in stopping politically motivated acts of violence which are intended not just to maim and murder, but to intimidate whole populations.

I worry we’re not taking seriously enough these threats from well-armed whites with a political axe to grind. The Thursday before the 4th Precinct shooting, a video was posted online showing two men in a car, driving to the Black Lives protest. The driver held up a handgun while promising to engage in some “reverse cultural enriching,” finally signing off to his viewers with the phrase “Stay white.” Sitting in the passenger seat was Lance Scarsella, who returned to the protest with three other men on Monday, the night of the attack. These are the four men now under arrest in connection with the shooting.

Minneapolis Police had four days prior to the shooting to track down the two men in the video. The driver was correctly identified by name in a comment on the “Black Lives Matter” Facebook page three days before the attack. As a resident of south Minneapolis, it took me five minutes to retrace the route taken in the videoright back to the driveway they pulled out ofusing a basic knowledge of local landmarks and Google Street View. If it was a priority, these details should have led police to Scarsella.

As MPD’s union head was comparing the Black Lives Matter protest to “Benghazi” on talk radio, the job of intelligence gathering was left to an unpaid social media detective:

Scarsella, Gustavsson and Macey, along with the man who was questioned and released, are featured in several videos of a now-deleted YouTube page. The page’s banner featured two dozen men — some masked — holding weapons, along with a pair of Confederate flags. The videos were deleted by Monday afternoon, but they had been archived by Minneapolis-based researcher Tony Webster.

I’m a big Tony Webster fan, but we shouldn’t have to rely on the work of a skilled volunteer to track and archive the online activities of the violent white extremists who threaten our city. It’s just too big of a job.

Since 9/11, domestic terror attacks by white Americans have killed anywhere from two to five times as many people as those carried out by jihadists. We often hear about the social media prowess of ISIS; far less publicized is the degree to which sites like 4chan and reddit are an increasingly effective recruiting tool for a new generation of white nationalists. Though the idea of white terrorism doesn’t seem to break into the headlines, police from across the country are aware of the threat: a 2015 NY Times national survey of law enforcement agencies identifies right-wing terror as the top threat facing American cities.

I assume there are people in positions of authority who are aware of these facts, but recent events do not inspire confidence in local law enforcement. The racial and religious diversity of the Twin Cities makes them a tempting target for hate groups. Let’s be sure we’re focusing our anti-terrorism efforts, both locally and across Minnesota, beyond the usual suspects.

Uptown Secures 50 More Years of Drive-Thru Banking

A Google search for “do people still go inside banks?” shows that, for some of us, physical banks are a thing of the past. Which means you might not be aware of the dangers of car-free banking. Read on, for a story every parent should see.

Yesterday, the Planning Commission considered Wells Fargo’s plans for a new branch building at the corner of Lake and Humboldt. The building would replace the bank’s existing structure built in 1973. The maximum number of car parking stalls allowed for the proposed building is 17. Wells Fargo wants 36.

A representative for Wells Fargo cited safety concerns, for employees and customers, as one reason the Planning Commission should allow double the parking maximum. Commissioner Ben Gisselman also had questions about safety:

When we’re talking about bank transactions, I feel like there is some argument that perhaps customers–I don’t know if this is legitimate or not–but perhaps customers do want the safety of having their vehicle there.

@happifydesign @mikesonn from watching that meeting, I gather it’s hugely dangerous to do your banking without a getaway car nearby.

— Wedge LIVE! (@WedgeLIVE) November 17, 2015

Considering the neighborhood context (frequent transit, multiple bikeways, walkability, density, the transportation preferences of nearby residents), Commissioner Nick Magrino expressed “surprise” that all 27 Wells Fargo employees at the site are driving themselves to work: “I think it’s probably possible that you’re sort of inducing some of that demand from the employees by having free parking available on site.”

The Planning Commission denied the request for 19 additional car stalls. They also required that three bike parking stalls be added at the bank’s Lake and Humboldt entrance. As a result of these two decisions, several long-time residents probably made dramatic Facebook pronouncements about moving to St. Paul.

The Planning Commission also voted to continue the tradition of drive-thru banking in the heart of Uptown. The new drive-thru will be two lanes, which is considerably smaller than the existing building’s seven-lane monster.

Sam Rockwell, the lone commissioner to oppose the drive-thru, noted that the Hennepin-Lake area is a Pedestrian Overlay District, and the first rule of Pedestrian Overlay District is don’t talk about drive-thrus. Rockwell also pointed to the fact that the area has the fourth highest bicycle counts and the third highest pedestrian counts in the city. [to watch his entire remarks, visit SamRockwellSpeech.com]

It’s impossible to say whether the Millenials of tomorrow will make virtual banking transactions from a retractable kiosk mounted on the titanium-alloy ceiling of their driverless Space-Ubers. But even if we can’t know what banking will look like a decade from now, we do know that Uptown might be stuck with the banking equivalent of a VCR, in the form of a one-story drive-thru bank that could last 50 years.  

Based on your past purchases, you might also like:
Rockwell’s Travel Guides – Drive-Thru Banking in Minneapolis

Better Know a Pumpkin: Andrew Johnson

I took Ward 12 Council Member, and recent jack-o’-lantern, Andrew Johnson on a historic walking tour of our very historic Lowry Hill East Historic District. He agreed that it is a beautiful neighborhood and that it should never change. Afterwards he sat for a series of softball questions in Mueller Park.

I was eager to hear his thoughts on Linden Hills. He described, with awe in his voice, that he’d never seen anything like the recent 43rd and Upton appeal at the Zoning and Planning Committee. He was particularly impressed with the Linden Hillers’ determination to blow through time limits and ignore repeated requests to wrap up. He remembered being surprised by a chant of “this is not what democracy looks like” in response to speakers being told they wouldn’t get a second try at the microphone (sadly, this was not captured in video of the meeting).

We talked about his proposed animal control ordinance, which is strangely controversial. He said his intention is to modernize a wide range of policies relating to animal care and shelters. According to Johnson, the existing policies are “cobbled together” and in need of overhaul. In formulating the proposal, they’ve held two public meetings and consulted with groups that advocate for the humane treatment of animals.

The proposal is full of potentially cumbersome regulations requiring pet owners to provide:

  • Adequate food, water, and shelter
  • Access to care, treatment, and transportation to veterinary care
  • Appropriate space and exercise
  • Access to care to prevent pain and suffering

We spoke about his legendary thirst. He claims he only used this giant mug one time on Channel 79 (implying that somehow I’m the weirdo for catching him). He took frequent sips from the comically large mug during our interview. After some examination, I believe he is telling the truth when he says it’s not a water pitcher stolen from a pizzeria. He emphasized over and over that he is still “re-hydrating” weeks after his Linden Hills experience.

I let Andrew hold my pumpkin, he let me touch his giant mug.

We talked about his Tweet-battle with home improvement icon Nicole Curtis. He renewed his challenge for her to release the disturbing emails. I got the impression he was prepared to take all the credit for running Curtis out of Minneapolis and back to Detroit, but he didn’t come right out and say it.

In response to a question about the recent setback for the Working Families agenda, he mentioned his hope that something could still be accomplished on sick time and fair scheduling, but in a way that accommodates some of what he sees as legitimate business concerns.

2015 Sexiest CM Alive pic.twitter.com/kOLYWoFQzl

— Wedge LIVE! (@WedgeLIVE) August 21, 2015

Coming up next in our Better Know a Pumpkin series: City Historian and Planner John Smoley(!).

Smoley for President logo carved into the backside of Pumpkin Andrew.

We’ll ask him: Why is our historic district so small? What does he have against Queen Annes? Did he really get his PhD in “Missile Silos”? And also, why isn’t our historic district bigger?

Great Moments in “Oops, I Missed My Turn”

Sometimes buildings get in the way.
No helmet, no reflective clothing. smh. https://t.co/1kC6Z4GLoM

— § (@section_sign) November 1, 2015

A driver crashed a vehicle into the dry cleaner at 2500 Hennepin early Sunday morning. It’s happened before, in far more spectacular fashion, just one block north. In 2005, the driver of a van nearly demolished the building at 2400 Hennepin (which still houses Sudz Salon, as well as newer occupant Spyhouse Coffee). 

News coverage of the 2005 crash reprinted below—as always, without permission.

Wedge newspaper, April 2005

Photos below from Garrick Van Buren.

Full story from the March 14, 2005 Star Tribune:

A van crashed into a hair salon at 24th St. and Hennepin Av. S. in Minneapolis on Sunday morning, leaving a gaping hole in the storefront and causing the second floor to partly collapse. 

Emergency crews responded to the Sudz Salon at 2400 Hennepin about 8 a.m. and extracted the van’s driver from the wreckage. A medical condition likely caused the man to veer off Hennepin, hit a traffic light and then smash into the salon lobby, said Paul Nemes, a captain with the Minneapolis Fire Department. 

The driver was taken to Hennepin County Medical Center with non- life-threatening injuries. No one was in the salon or neighboring businesses when the accident occurred. An upstairs apartment was severely damaged, but salon employees said no one lived there. 

“Oh my god,” said salon manager Krysta Schrader. “I’m just worried about my employees’ livelihood. It’s devastating.” 

Although much of the salon’s rear half remained untouched, Nemes said that most of the building is a total loss because its structural integrity was compromised; it will be demolished. 

Schrader said the salon will try to lease a temporary space as soon as possible.

2400 Hennepin was stitched back together.

Wedge Living: Halloween Crafting & Recipes

There have been some spooky rumors going around about Council Member Andrew Johnson and his mysterious animal control ordinance. This guy is jack-o’-lantern material.

Is @CMAndrewJohnson proposing to round up and euthanize all unleashed cats, lizards, ferrets, weasels, and red hens? https://t.co/qQ9crcJBy7

— MRRderouSVLD (@MRRSVLD) October 17, 2015

wedgi-How Tutorial

Step 1:  Bring Andrew Johnson to meet some of your friends from Linden Hills.
Step 2: Create a template from his reaction.
Step 3: Pull out the guts of your pumpkin, and save them for later.
Step 4: Print out the template and attach it to the pumpkin. Trace by poking holes through the template.
Step 5: Carve out the white space, and scrape the surface off the grey-shaded areas.

RECIPE: Uncle Wedgie’s Extra-Burned Pumpkin Seeds

Now it’s time to cook your pumpkin seeds. Google around for a sriracha-based recipe. Make sure this recipe calls for you to cook the seeds for way too long, and at much too high of a temperature.

Sriracha, vegetable oil, soy sauce.

When the smell of burning pumpkin seeds becomes alarming, your seeds are done. Force-feed them to Pumpkin Andrew like a heavy dose of Linden Hills, giving him a good reason for that horrified expression.

UPDATE: Humans and gourds can coexist.